Glastonbury Reviews - 2004

Glastonbury 2004

The weather was a fair bit worse than 2003’s sunshine. The wellies were out and my kagool came home reeking of cigarettes and shit. The Chemical Brothers performance was truly amazing though.

GLASTONBURY REVIEW 2004

Following on from last year's review this is my take on what I saw at this year's festival. I'll try to include as much as possible. For the record - did I enjoy it as much as last year? No. This was partly due to weather which really got to me after a while. Still, I did have a good time and here, from the Friday through until the Sunday was what I got up to...


FRIDAY

RALPH MYERS AND THE JACK HERREN BAND

Kicking off the Pyramid Stage this year were this fun, slightly unhinged, but rewarding group from Norway. Imagine two Avid Merrions sat on drum kits on the opposite sides of the stage with a guitarist and knob-twiddler inbetween and you get the idea. Pounding breakbeats, squelching and voice samples all contributed to a fun, jaunty act that I would see again as those guys seemed to love playing. "Alan, Kick it!"

KASABIAN

And over the Other Stage to see this lot of wannabes. Reminded me of Primal Scream in some ways, but all the tunes seemed to just fade in to each other. Interestingly, I heard one of their tracks on Radio 1 on the way out of the Festival - sounded nothing like the version I heard. Yawn.

HAL

Errr... Dull. What I mean is that I'm struggling to remember anything about these guys, at the time I thought they sounded like the Thrills. Um... they supported Starsailor once (more on whom later)... Sorry, these review will get better in a minute.

THE STANDS

The new Cast! The other Coral! I don't know. Four scousers who looked and sounded if they were going to break into a chorus 'There She Goes' at any moment. Inoffensive indie/pop that failed to set me off, but who knows?

I AM KLOOT

Hooray! Quality act alert! This three piece were melodic, graceful and had lyrics that engaged, with me certainly, anyway. At one point they were joined on stage by Guy Garvey of Elbow, who had helped to record their debut album 'Natural History'. The gig was only marred by a frankly bizarre incident whereby the band were informed that they had overrun. A Stage Manager came on, spoke to lead singer John Bramwell who then pushed said bemused looking Stage Manager. The bloke walked off-stage leaving Bramwell to launch in to their final song. They got thirty seconds in when all power was cut to the stage. Bramwell was left shouting "I'm not going anywhere!" as their drummer left his seat and took his bow.

BADLY DRAWN BOY

Maybe it's an easy listening thing. Maybe it's a London thing. Maybe it's just me. I don't 'get' Badly Drawn Boy. His songs to me are shambling, rambling dirges - no matter how 'upbeat' they're meant to sound. You can tell why the crowd love him, he does engage with them. He has as a chat; is extremely self-deprecating - then declares himself 'better than Bono' (a statement swiftly followed up with the denial 'that was all Bull****' in case anyone actually thought that he might genuinely believe that thus ruining his carefully constructed loveable-talented-but-amateur image). He also kept dedicating his performance to Joe Strummer... who quite frankly deserves better.

SNOW PATROL

Bless Gary Lightbody as he came on the stage clasping his head to his hands overwhelmed by the sheer number of people who had turned up to the Other Stage to see them. Snow Patrol didn't need to win over this audience, all was left was for Lightbody to declare that this was 'their biggest gig ever'. More than just the Scottish Coldplay, Snow Patrol had a beautiful quality to them that marked them out for me as a stand-out act. 'Run' was, of course, magnificent, prompting the sort of sing-a-long reserved for the Pyramid Stage. I have been converted...

FRANZ FERDINAND

If this band haven't put a huge smile on your face yet then I want to know why. Tight-as-you-like, looking like Kraftwerk from the front cover to 'Trans Europe Express', FF were simply great. The didn't hang around, rocking, pogo-ing and posing through their songs as the audience followed suit. 'Take Me Out' was a stand-out moment as we thrashed about for the opening minute and the danced into the pace-change and hook. Cheeky lyrics changing on 'Dark of the Matinee' too ("So I'm on BBC 3 now/Telling Edith Bowman how I made it...) Quite simply, if you get the chance go and see them! Why they weren't on the Pyramid Stage, I've no idea.

THE CHEMICAL BROTHERS

Sod Oasis. If you went and enjoyed those guys well good luck to you, for me the words 'currently overrated' sprang to mind. Still it didn't stop the Other Stage from being rammed for a top-notch performance from Tom and Ed Chemical. In the forty minutes leading up to the performance, Kraftwerk's 'The Mix' album was used to keep the punters warm, appropriate really as pure-electronica was what this was all about. Beginning with a looped intro that warmed-up the crowd it wasn't long before the lads appeared on stage and launched into a commanding rendition of 'Hey Boy, Hey Girl'. Surrounded by mixing desks and keyboards, Tom and Ed quickly launched in to the set proper as 'Music:Response' kicked in and a gigantic screen appeared from the back of the stage featuring a bloke silhouetted in white dancing. Cue thousands of people losing it completely. 'Block Rockin' Beats' quickly followed behind. Tom and Ed took it in turns to get to the stage's edge and get the crowd more hyped (like they needed it) as the gig continued. Barney's lyrics for 'Out of Control' got cut-up and reworked and Noel Gallagher's vocals on 'Setting Sun' were just scrapped completely - the tune is big enough for an instrumental version as it is. Woe betide anyone on hallucinogens as a terrifying clown announced 'We Are All Your Children Now' on the huge screen. I don't know what the final track was, but it built beautifully and then cut-out completely, only to have the Brothers restart proceedings a second later - this was a calculated masterstroke, especially after the fifth or sixth time it happened, letting a crowd get pumped further and further. Ingenious, incredible, unbelievable. A legendary gig.


I caught the end of FREQ NASTY down at the Glade which had become rammed due to the belief that NORMAN COOK was going to play in the guise of the 'Drunk Soul Brother'. This was to be followed by the 'London Dust Explosion' i.e. the CHEMICAL BROTHERS. This would have been a neat little trick for those who knew and had picked up on the mysterious special guests in the programme. Instead Orange decided to mass-text everyone that these giants of dance music would be dropping in to DJ leading to a huge gridlock of punters waiting to dance combined with people returning from OASIS. After FREQ NASTY had finished playing they announced that WILL WHITE and NICK WARREN would be DJing until 4am. 'Was that Fat Boy Slim and the Chemical Brothers we saw DJing in the Glade last night?' asked the Q Glastonbury Daily. No, I don't think it was.

SATURDAY

CASSETTEBOY

The joy of Cassetteboy is a simple one - speech samples and some music are cut-and-paste together in order to create hilarious juxtapositions. This is accompanied by two grown men - one in a track suit with Bush mask on, one in a dress with a Blair mask on, who mime to said samples while most of the time simulating anal sex. This is also the problem with Cassetteboy. It doesn't really go anywhere and the cut-up samples of world leaders is so overused now it lacks interest. Better were the media attacks from the plain rude: 'Harry Potter and the/Under/Age/Blow/Job' to the great fun 'What/is/the/point/of/Big Brother?' Cassetteboy need new material if they're going to continue to greatness.

MICHAEL FRANTI AND SPEARHEAD

I had been lead to believe by several people over the years that Spearhead were a fantastic live act that would blow you away. This, unhappily, was not the case. Franti is a talented performer. His energy never wanes and he can certainly motivate a crowd, but this gig was all about... the bloody politics. Fair play to Franti, unlike the mischief making of Cassetteboy, in itself pretty harmless, this man has been out to Iraq and talked to the Iraqi people and US troops. And didn't he like to talk about it. At one point I assumed that the whole stage was going to rearrange itself for Michael to show us the photographic slides of his trip. It was cold. It was wet. I wanted to get motivated. I wanted to dance. I got a lecture. Disappointing.

SCISSOR SISTERS

"They're, like, the greatest band ever!" some enthusiast gushed as I went back into the crowd. Rest assured they're not, but they are jolly good fun. Camper than our tents on Pennard Hill, they arrived on stage in a splash of psychedelia. Jake Shears and Anna Matronic wowed the crowd and got into the spirit of things, Jake wearing a frankly cold looking one piece spandex suit. 'Laura' got people moving, whereas I preferred the 'Comfortably Numb' cover. I remarked they were just the 'B-52s all over again' to which my friend, Nick added 'but with synthesizers!'. A more helpful point to make rather than 'they were the B-52s... on acid!' - which is a rather neat segue into this chap...

STEWART LEE

"I'm attempting to do stand-up comedy with the tools normally reserved for revolutionaries!" I'm not entirely sure if Lee and Herring are still together, but I'd happily see Mr Lee solo again. The Cabaret tent lost all power some three minutes into Lee's set, leaving the man to stand in the audience and address the crowd with a megaphone. This lead to all sorts of improvisational greatness. Enjoyed this immensely. "Sometimes James Brown wants us to get up. Sometimes he wants us to get down. He should clarify his position."

STARSAILOR

Starsailor are technically a very good band, with a problem. They don't have any stand-out tracks with a big enough hook for the audience to get in to them. If they perhaps stopped whining a bit and engaged with rock a bit more they could do huge things. I just kept thinking 'so nearly there'... Not great, but not at all bad either.

THE BLACK EYED PEAS

Watched the first five minutes and then voted with my feet. Rubbish. I maintain my position that they all need a slap.

SIR PAUL MCCARTNEY

"He's such an embarrassing granddad... I love him" was the comment from one punter, well I think Paul knows this and plays up to it. Everything was "groooovy" (that's right with four 'o's) and his question "Is it possible to rock in wellies?" was answered for itself. It is and when you've got Paul to dance to, it's an amazing experience. He opened with 'Jet' and just didn't let up. While some of the audience knew the newer stuff it was the Beatles and Wings songs that got the most cheers. Highlights for me were 'Back in the USSR', 'Sgt Peppers', 'Band on the Run' and the pyrotechnically incredible 'Live and Let Die' complete with shooting jets of flame from the stage and Bond visuals behind. An awesome gig from an awesome performer. Thoroughly pleased I saw this. Everybody - "Hey Juuuuuuuuuude..."

SUNDAY

THE ENGLISH NATIONAL OPERA PRESENT 'RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES'

Check it out! It's a full orchestra on the Pyramid Stage! This was superb, suitably different for the Sunday and damned powerful stuff. The singers (dressed by Cyberdog) created a doom-laden atmosphere that was wonderful to experience. The singer playing Brunhillde was superb, conveying the character's bravery, but also her respect and defeat in the eyes of her father. Actually the weather got nice and dark as Wotan approached, and he was marvellous too. This was a great success and I hope they repeat it next year. Encore!

THE DIVINE COMEDY

Neil Hannon is a bit of a legend really and this (truncated) performance by the 'Comedy only went on to prove this. They rattled off several tunes including the great 'Becoming More Like Alfie' and 'Songs of Love', before launching into a banjo-strumming cover of the Queens of the Stone Age's 'No One Knows'. Thus the crowd were warmed up for a full-on singing of 'Something for the Weekend' and 'National Express'... Except it didn't happen. I don't know why this is. Maybe Neil's fed-up with them, or maybe they were pushed for time? A bit of a shame, but still a great performance.

At this point it's worth noting at this point that I hung back a bit from the bands and had a beer. THE ORDINARY BOYS were on the Other Stage at this point and I didn't pay that much attention, though I do like the new single. The intention was to then get a bit of kip and go and see SUPERGRASS. Unfortunately I overslept and made it to the Pyramid Stage in time for...

MORRISSEY

When you're Morrissey I guess you can do whatever the hell you like. In this case he kept us waiting, when the curtain began to peel back to reveal his name spelled out in red lights, I wondered if the hype and the ego were going to eclipse the performance. It didn't and I can now begin to see why the man's return to the UK is such a big deal. Launching into 'Don't Make Fun Of Daddy's Voice', the man was a huge, swaggering giant, playing off his trademark misery. His instructions to 'not overdose' during the performance was funny, but also slightly chilling given the drug related death already reported on-site. I didn't stay for the whole of Mozza, cos there was something more important. Yes, really... However given the opportunity I would definitely see this guy again. Super stuff.

ORBITAL

Even as I write this the hairs on the back of my neck are standing up. This was important. Massively important. When I first got into dance music back in the early 90s one of the first bands my friends encouraged me to listen to were Orbital. I had arranged the speakers on my stereo to what I believed to be an optimum listening position and then sat down in front to listen to 'Lush 3-1'. As the crystal clear notes bounced and echoed around my room it was like staring into a mirror facing another mirror, notes echoing off into infinity. As I grew-up Orbital grew too. They became scarier, more intricate, sometimes friendlier and often epic. The live shows became legendary and until last Sunday I hadn't attended one of them. This is entirely my own fault of course for not getting my act together. However on Sunday the stage was set. And this time it was for their last show ever.
Maybe not 'ever', the brothers had another gig to play elsewhere but as far as everyone was concerned, this Glastonbury 2004 performance was it. They opened on time and gently taking the time to introduce themselves. Each tune was broken down into its own separate area. This was not the continued sensory assault of the Chemical Brothers. Each piece of Orbital mastery was allowed to stand for itself. 'The Box' has always been an innocently huge record and proved so again here. A sampled Christopher Eccleston opened up some incredible new tunes. 'Belfast' echoed and poured into hearts and minds. 'Satan' continued to be the terrifying party-stopping rocker it always has been. And then they went off...
And came back on again. The effect of 'Impact' on a crowd in many ways defies explanation. A driven breakbeat, followed by a high pitched one note of strings that creates the sense of foreboding that the very sky is about to fall on you. And when it does, my God, it's magnificent. 'Impact' is as close as you can come to my mind for dance music perfection. A reach-for-the-lasers breakdown that becomes an acid riddled thumping piece of techno. "It's... it's like a cry for survival... a cry for survival... survival for them and for us..." This time it was particularly pertinent. In two songs time, there would be no survival for this band.
In the radius of twenty people around me I think I was probably the only one who stuck two hands in the air and screamed as a sampled William Hartnell said:

"One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine."

Were Orbital talking about the return of 'Doctor Who', the festival or themselves? One suspects all three. I really, really hope they get the 'Doctor Who' gig. In the meantime this was wonderful as 'Doctor ?' rang it's death knell turned pounding bassline into one of the greatest pieces of electronica ever. I don't think my hands left the air as their version of the theme played and then became 'Chime'. Perfection had just got better. 'Chime', like 'Impact' is in many ways a simple house/rave record with techno trappings... a simple piano line that sounds like bells being hammered across the universe. We all danced like idiots at the time, it's only now that the whole gig provokes a feeling of immense happiness and immense sadness. All Orbital did was bow and leave the stage. No second encore. That was it.

Maybe it's time to grow up. The finish for Orbital and the finish for Glastonbury 2004. Game over. Mission accomplished.